You can take a
Road Dog out of the fight, but they’ll still be “full of it”!
October is the
time of year when some Road Dogs migrate from the road to the porch. So, even
though the NCBC Fall Rally was only a week away, it wasn’t surprising to see a
flood of excuses for not participating in the Norlina “Ride Between the
Lakes”. We received the typical excuses; “I’m nursing my beer fetus”,
“I’m afraid the weather might be (cold, hot, rainy, sunny, dry, humid)”,
and of course “I’m not in good form”. But the prize for the Best Excuse
goes to Randy “Fat Boy” Murray, who claims he “had to stay home and plant
some bushes with his in-laws”.
There was plenty
of pre-ride posturing, leading up to the ride on October 7th. At one point, it
seemed likely that there would be a whole peloton of tandems joining us, at
least for the Metric. This caused a great deal of concern for those of us who
wondered whether we were still capable of “climbing with the tandems”, and
it brought back painful memories of past rides where we were ritually dropped in
the wake of these “bicycles built for two sadists”. Good thing we didn’t
lose any sleep over that threat. The double-bike squadron was successfully
blocked by the “Leyland Wine Tasting” and only one made it to Norlina.
Thanks Bill! The check is in the mail…
Even though many
of our “friends” had already been dropped, the Road Dogs were still well
represented when we lined-up in front of the Norlina Christian School and were
ceremoniously led out of town by the Norlina Fire Truck. Road Dog, “Hero”,
and wheel-smith (explained later) Allen “Budman” Walker is a Norlina native.
On the way out of town (actually, on this ride you’re out of town before you
know it) we said “Hi Rachel” when we rode by Allen’s homestead, with all
of Allen’s fans (aka Pit Crew which consisted of his mother, sister, and
daughter) in the front yard. A few minutes later, we all said “BYE ALLEN”
when he flatted.
Road Dogs have
been known to go to great lengths to live up to our motto: “We only drop our
friends”. You can’t even trust your own teammate. I know Allen wishes he
hadn't. Less than 10 miles into the ride, I heard Allen ask Jon Buckley (who was
sitting behind him) "check my back tire, how does it look". Buckley
says "Just fine". Moments later, "pssssst" - the tire goes
flat. Of course, Buckley's only reaction was to say "Well, at least Allen
took his turn at the front before he flatted". As we sped off without a
thought of stopping to help him, I tried to talk the other Road Dogs into
dedicating the ride to our "hero", but my suggestion was only met with
looks that seemed to say: "Why would we want to do that?"
While watching a
NASCAR race the following day, Allen provided this account of his ordeal:
”First off, I would like to say that the Saaeco/Specialized/Speedplay/Shimano/Road
Dog Cannondale was running good on Saturday and I was just biding my time until
the last few laps, eeerrrrrrrrrr miles, when I would make my move to the front.
She started out a little tight on me, but she was loosening up good after the
first few miles. Around the 10 or 11 mile mark I felt like a tire may have been
going down on me, so I called back to my teammate Jon Buckley who said
everything looked fine. Not long after that she started getting wicked loose, so
I had to get out of the racing groove and shut her down! In my efforts to get
back on the track...I mean road in as short a time as possible, I pinched a tube
and proceeded to borrow a tube from pit crewman Bill (Performance Bike). We were
soon on our way until a mile down the road and that tire started going flat. I
told Bill to go and I proceeded to pull over to the side of the road. With the
help of a two way communication system (cell phone) I called my support team
(sister) who brought me a spare wheel. In no time at all I was on my way!”
By the time Allen was back
on the “track”, the lead pack had completed the double-dam flip-flop and was
enjoying a breathless journey along some of Warren County’s scenic back-roads,
while the Road Dogs were fine-tuning their infamous group-riding techniques.
Somewhere before the 50 mile rest stop, someone mustered enough energy to tell
anyone who would listen that "Jon Supler's no longer with us".
Actually, the same could be said (but curiously wasn’t) for more than 2/3rds
of the cyclists who started with us only and hour and a half earlier. The rest
of the story is that Supler’s van wasn't in the parking lot when we got back
to the start at Norlina Christian School; also half of the 50 gallon pot of
Brunswick stew was gone, and everyone at the fire station had an astonished (or
shocked) look on their faces. That was sufficient evidence that Supler was OK.
Before long a
small, but intelligent, group managed to drop a pack of hammers off-the-front
(another Road Dog ride tactic). Unfortunately we didn’t know the route well
enough to time this move perfectly, because shortly after they were “out of
site and out of mind”, we “found” them at the 50 mile rest stop. The short
break was a typical scene of uncoordinated confusion, AND the scene of yet
another dastardly Road Dog deed. In our haste to get back on course (and headed
toward our ultimate rendezvous with Brunswick Stew) we UNINTENTIONALLY left
without Jon Buckley. Jon provided the following, biased account of the event:
“They tried to
pull a "road dog" on me. We stopped at the 50 mile rest stop to refill
bottles, get some food, pee, etc. Well, it was getting kind of warm and I had my
tights on and a thin layer underneath my long sleeve jersey. After I saw Smith
& Claude pulling off their tights, I thought I should do the same. I was in
the bathroom performing this task and when I came out, the only people there
were the two people manning the rest stop. Well, I was quite pissed that they
left me in the bathroom at the 50 mile mark (average at that time was 23 MPH).
But I was determined to do a century. I've ridden 50 miles by myself before. So
as I was going down the road, indignation and thoughts of revenge kept me going.
During extremely long straight sections, I could see the group. But they were at
least ½ mile ahead. I was not going to catch them. Then something amazing
happened. At the intersection right before the BP, the group got caught in
traffic. I was actually closing. And then the miracle. Somebody looked back. And
then another miracle. They actually waited for me. I then began to wonder about
them waiting for me, were they getting soft and sentimental or did they just
want another body in the small group to help work against the head winds that we
were going to experience. I think I know the answer to that one. Anyway, they
waited at the BP for me. They feigned ignorance regarding me getting left in the
bathroom and we continued on our way. All was well with the world once again.”
While Buckley
was “steaming” up behind us, a wave of concern for his well-being swept over
the pack. Due to Buckley's reputation for fast starts, the last thought that
entered anyone's mind was that he would be left behind. After the break, when
Smith&Claude rejoined the pack (which was riding SLOWLY to allow everyone to
regroup), Smith said that Jon had been ahead of him in the line for the
bathroom. We knew that it was Jon's anniversary and that he was in a hurry to
get home, so we all just figured that he was disappointed with the slow pace and
had decided to ride on ahead of us, since there were only about 50 miles to the
finish and the wind wasn't blowing that hard. By the time we got to the
Metric/Century split, Smith&Claude had dropped off the back a little bit
while we were on a road that had recently been "sanded" (must be a
Warren County thing), so we were expecting them to come up behind us. While we
looking back we saw a bike in the distance and figured it was the tandem, so we
decided to wait. Much to our disappointment, it was Buckley. Modesty won’t
allow us to repeat the words he used to express his appreciation to us for being
kind enough to wait for him.
Upon hearing of
this unprecedented display of Road Dog compassion, Bob Wolfrom had the following
reaction: “Oh the shame! The beloved Road Dog credo sullied through the mud
like a losing lottery ticket. I hope that next week finds all of the Dogs back
at their snarling "leave 'em in the bathroom" best. Common guys -
start treating Jon like a TRUE Road Dog friend.”
The remainder of
the ride for the “lead pack”, which now consisted of 7 Road Dogs, is
accurately described by Jon Buckley: “All was well with the world once again.
And then Kurt Massey, at around mile 70, decided to break away. We actually went
after him. Well, the sustained speeds of 27-30 MPH for the next 5-7 miles
toasted everyone, except for Kurt and Sean Dinges. So when Kurt made another
move with 15 miles left, no one went with him except Sean and they finished in
4h30m. I'm not sure about anyone else, but the last 8-10 miles were a real death
march for me. The main group (of 5) finished in 4h35m. Fastest century of the
year for me. I still don't feel quite right this morning (2 days later).”
After carefully
studying our account of the ride Randy Murray made the following astute
observation:
“I'll be ready
for (the Fall Rally) next weekend!
Let me see if I've got the rules down:
Pee quick at the break
Stay behind Kurt and Sean
Don't wait on Walker
Let Buckley catch up
Keep tabs on Supler
Got it!”
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