“Flying Dutchman” Captures First Two Stages of Tour du Donaldson
(Greenville, SC) Rene Quadt, darling of the staffs of the
local Motel 6 and
His quest for the top spot on the podium began
inauspiciously on a cold Saturday morning, the gray skies threatening rain,
plotting race strategy as he downed a double stack of waffles to steel himself
against the worsening weather. The forecast for showers proved accurate, and the
skies opened up as the riders lined up to start the day’s first race. Quadt,
fortified by the Waffle House “secret syrup,” remained undaunted, noting
“this is just like back home in Holland, what are you wussy boys complaining
about.” Early in the first lap, several riders attacked in an obvious attempt
to end the misery early. Ever the
savvy rider, Quadt recognized that there was no way they could stay off the
front in the howling headwinds on the backstretch of the course. He was proven
right as a lackluster effort by the remainder of the peloton reeled in the
breakaway before the end of the penultimate third lap.
The fourth, and final lap saw no concerted breakaway
attempts, and Quadt took this to his advantage, positioning himself towards the
front of the pack, cleverly using the less experienced cyclists to his right for
protection from the crosswinds as the peloton rolled towards the finish.
When several riders began an early sprint with 500+ meters to go, Quadt
grabbed a good wheel, allowing the leaders to expend themselves, then launched
his ferocious sprint with just under 100 meters to go, taking the victory
decisively. Several members of opposing teams we heard to comment that they’d
tried to grab his wheel, but could not hang on. Little did they know that this
would be the tone for the rest of the weekend, and likely the remainder of the
series.
Sunday, the day of the circuit race dawned cold, but
clear. Quadt, poorly rested due to nightmares induced from a late evening
watching “Boogie Nights,” was nevertheless optimistic. Surely the bright sun
presaged a warm day and another good race. Thus assured, he opted for only a
single waffle with “secret syrup,” consumed while basking in the adulation
of Waffle House employees for his victory the previous day. At the start line,
Quadt chatted amiably with the other competitors, getting down to business once
the peloton was sent on its way. Little of note happened early in the nine lap
race, Quadt was content to sit in the peloton, marking the stronger riders as
they attacked after turns and on the hills, and avoiding the many squirrelly
members of the pack. Later in the race, there were several individual attempts
to break away, with one four man break forming briefly on the 6th
lap. None of these were to be successful as the pack responded and easily reeled
each break back into the fold.
On the final lap, Quadt determined that trouble would be
brewing through the S-turns at the approach to the final sprint. Thus he moved
to the front of the pack and broke away early, using his time trial prowess to
maintain his lead. Quadt crossed the line 20 meters ahead of the nearest rider,
leaving those sprinting for 10th so stunned that they piled up in a
huge crash 100 meters from the line.
Having demonstrated that there is no way to beat riding
smart and riding strong, Quadt picked up his second paycheck. Race organizers
Lucy Foxworth and Kevin Underwood commented that they were going to set up a
direct deposit account for him to collect next week’s winnings. David “Decoy
Boy” Saussy, Quadt’s domestique was heard to say, “I’m just proud to
carry his water bottle.” Next week is sure to be “Fear and Loathing In
Greenville” for Quadt’s competitors as a large contingent of Spin Cycle
racers descend upon Donaldson to help him defend his title and get a little bit
for themselves. Stay tuned.
Page maintained by Tom Sheffield and last
revised on Tuesday, March 07, 2000.
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